obviously i fell behind on this blog during the last half of my cleanse due to my, ahem, busy nature. but long story short - I DID IT!!!! a quick recap of thoughts and feelings:

i figured once i hit 10 days, i might as well keep going and do 14 days, even if it meant cutting it a bit close to thanksgiving. i started doing the salt flush, but only ended up doing it three times due to bad timing - it takes about an hour and a half from drinking the salt water till its all…expelled. so you have to time it wisely! the first time i couldn’t even finish the salt water. 1 - it was bizarre to have a new taste after nearly two weeks of just the juice and tea 2 - it was hard to stomach just thinking about drinking salt water. i drank about half of it. the second try was more of a success. i pretended it was soup, closed my eyes, and chugged. within about 45 minutes it…came out. the idea behind the salt flush is that through osmosis, water wants to get out of your cells and whatnot (hopefully) along with any toxins hiding in there. also, since the salt water goes through your system so quickly, it will knock out any plaques or whatever that is stuck in there. unfortunately i did not poop out any black stomach plaque that people had told me about. bummer! i feel a bit guilty for not doing the salt flush more often and wonder if the cleanse was really as effective…i guess there is always next time! overall the flush wasn’t as bad as people made it to be, i just felt a little bit dehydrated after, which i took as a sign that it kind of did it’s job.

as i got closer to the end, i felt a little scared about eating food again. if thanksgiving wasn’t so close, i felt like i could just keep going on the cleanse and not have a problem with it, which was a pretty cool feeling. i definitely felt more clear headed, not to the point that it chased away any sadness i was feeling, but definitely a goal oriented clearness. many people also asked me if i had lost weight, i explained that i as on the cleanse and would probably gain most of it back. i’ve probably lost 7-10lbs, mostly muscle mass. i would like to use this as some type of motivation to be more physically active, and will probably sign myself up for some yoga classes as a reward for getting through this.

i was definitely ok with being around food, and appreciated it a lot more in the last week. smelling food was enough to satisfy me, my food related reading jumped, and i even started cooking for people as a way to get that cooking itch out. on day 14 i went to dinner with my family and watched them go through many izakaya plates - i was happy just to drink green tea (WOOPS NOT SANCTIONED. paid for it by staying up till 4am) and smelling each dish. remember first you eat with your eyes! or something.

i felt pretty triumphant as i bought ingredients for the soup and juice i would get to eat on day 15…grapefruit, navel oranges, limes, two types of beets (golden and chioggia), onion, carrot, jalapeno, and ginger…mmmmm! cooking it up while still fasting was pretty fun as i imagined what it would taste like! unfortunately the next morning i could only stomach about half a cup of broth. PATHETIC! that night i was able to eat the veggies, broth, and some japanese style porridge i made - i was pretty hungry!

i tried to take the next day on food easy as well - green tea and juice got me through most of the day. yogurt was a bit of a fail…after work i visited my friend’s work and had a small side salad - which felt pretty daunting but delicious - and ended up eating half a slice of pizza AND A BEER!!!! i ended up pretty tipsy and bought some candles as a result…

day three on food - rice porridge and veggies in the morning went down fine. latte did not. stay away from dairy! beware!!!! coconut macaroon was a special sweet i let myself have as a treat ^^.

and here we are! done with the master cleanse and pretty much back on food!!!!!

i am officially half way done! well, i am aiming for 14 days, but the early thanksgiving dinner invites have begun to trickle in and i’m not sure how long i can resist them for…but 14 days is the goal!

its been pretty surprising how much easier this was than i though it would be…as evidenced below i do think a lot about food and feel “tortured” when i smell or see or read about it, but not to the point where i would give this up. overall ive had a pretty consistent energy level and can go about my every day life normally. i haven’t experienced a single headache from fatigue or huger or any weakness. i also feel like the quality of sleep has improved.

im going to attempt the salt flush tomorrow morning. ive been putting it off because of my antibiotics, but more because i am scared! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAY 4 - chinese food torture

i went to my parents house to do laundry and give my dog a bath. my parents had decided to get chinese takeout and it was TORTURE. on top of this i did my usual food network watching, and started reading the new issue of lucky peach (surprise, surprise a food mag). wasn’t doing myself any favors, but got through it!

my favorite non-uk food mag!

DAY 5

low morale - most likely not fast related. question at large: what happens when the poop runs out????

DAY 6

the farmer’s market was half torture and half nice. smelling food was wonderful but also hard. a friend was nice enough to get me flowers, since i couldn’t get any food!

later that day i was going to go see YELLE…my biggest concern was that i couldn’t bring my juice into the show….intense dancing/sweating/showing/dancing+NO JUICE (ie: limited energy levels) terrified me. and i was right to be terrified! somewhere stuck between the bigger sweaty guy with over enthusiastic dance moves and drunk yuppies throwing punches i felt like i was going to hyperventilate and collapse…probably the worst ive felt since i started the cleanse, but also because of my own doing. but the rest of the day was fine!

DAY 7

i spent the majority of the day in a pet ER with a friend and his cat. don’t worry she is doing ok! not a lot of moving around so i felt pretty normal. main torture was going to japantown for the animation festival and not being able to eat anything. the thing about japantown is that the ENTIRE places smells delicious.

ONEGAISHIMASU!!!!!!!!!!!

so overall recap: FOOD TORTURE!!!!!!!! but no hunger!!!!!

excerpt from a book my roomate happens to have on fasting

and its true - i do have a lot more free time and have been getting SO MUCH SHIT DONE!

DAY 1

a little nervous. if there is one thing i love to do is eat. and if there is another thing i love to do is caffeinate. sometimes i forget to eat and i crash really hard. or i don’t drink coffee and i crash really hard. the thought of going without seems daunting. day 1 went pretty well, except i can’t stop thinking abut food - not that i am hungry - but because I LOVE FOOD SO MUCH! i looked at a pile of rubber bands and saw noodles. really.

DAY 2

hmm…laxative tea….THAT WAS INTERESTING. other than that the only thing that has been bugging me is the pain in my hand from squeezing lemons. #1 complaint. no hunger pain, no faintness, no dizziness! i was a bit worried about attending a movie night because there would be food and beer, but i drank the juice and tea…also - everyone is asking me ‘ARE YOU OK?’, which i am. N.B. you do have enough energy to bone as usual for those that are wondering.

DAY 3

hand pain is nearly gone! pretty smooth sailing all day. just cant stop thinking about food. especially with this cold weather. i want all kinds of noodle soups. every kind.

a customer at our store asked me what was in my supply bag and it turns out he has done it before and was very encouraging. he told me i looked happier and lighter! woot! debating on going to a secret show but not sure if i can be surrounded by booziness….

tumblr is dumb and i cannot figure out how to embed a video so CLICK HERE!!!!

but listening to this gives me motivation to go!

STAY SOUR!

(and brush your teeth…)

so what is involved with this cleanse?

from what i can understand (granted i have not done a huge amount of research because i don’t want to have any expectations as whats to come and how i should feel) the point is to give your digestive system a break and let it have a chance to flush out all the bad stuff thats probably hiding in there. which kind of makes sense when you think about it, our digestive system is working around the clock to fuel our bodies and so much of our metabolic energy is devoted to that. so it also kind of makes sense that you can function without your daily value of calories because your body isn’t doing as much work.

OH HAI! VACAY PLZ!

people have also described a sense of euphoria and clearness, which is what i am more interested in. i also enjoy the sense of a challenge, it gives me something to focus on rather than moping around being sad.

the one piece of advice given to me was to have all the ingredients ready to make the juice before i started. which caused me to panic because i didn’t even have a lemon juicer. i shopped around a bunch and eventually found one for $1.50 at the Japanese dollar store! YAY!

the ingredients for the juice are lemons, grade b maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. easy enough. i bought a shit ton of lemons. about 40 of them. which set me back about $11 total. so far ive only juiced 15 of them and will probably get me through the first 4 days of the fast, so these will probably last me for a 10 day cleanse.* a 25 fl oz bottle of maple syrup (GRADE B! its less processed so has more natural sugars, nutrients, and vitamins in it) was about $13 at trader joes and i estimate you will need about a cup a day, one bottle may last about 4 days. cayenne pepper was like $4 tops for a thing of it.

THE JUICE MIXTURE!!!!

the instructions i read online were a bit hard to understand so here is how i’ve been doing it:

in one 32oz water bottle add:

6tbsp maple syrup

6tbsp lemon juice

cayenne pepper (i add a lot because i like HEAT)

water to the top

SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE!

throughout the day you will need about three bottles of the mixture, so i carry around a separate bottle of lemon juice ive squeezed.

at night ive been taking one cup of smooth move tea to help with…ahem…BOWEL MOVEMENTS. its also recommended you do a salt flush in the morning, but i am skipping that step for a bit because i have to take antibiotics…

have fun disemboweling lemons!

*i haven’t decided how long my cleanse will be because i forgot about thanksgiving and obvi i want to stuff my face then.

i just recently began the master cleanse and a few friends wanted to know how it went/is going, so naturally like all people trying to document something this blog was born (hello julie & julia).

why am i trying the cleanse? well…a combination of things…whenever i go through heartache and depression i try to make A BIG CHANGE to try and reset myself (when life gives you….ha ha). sometimes these changes can be healthy, and other times not so much… this time we went with healthy (CHECK!). also - i have been meaning to detox after running a month long music festival - one can only imagine how many hangovers from who knows what i’ve had and what kind of residual gunk is left in my body. ALSO! i am totally broke and cutting out drinking, smoking, and real food $ seemed like a good way to save lol.

a little more background, just so people don’t think i am a crazy person. i am doing the cleanse along with my two bosses who have both done it multiple times over the years. through their knowledge and experience i decided to give it a go (thanks joe + noella!) and of course, to have their support and have someone in the same boat as me. i am NOT doing this cleanse to lose weight - i am more looking for a symbolic reset to life (and a spotlessly clean colon, noella said it would feel like, “being scrubbed out by toothbrushes” which is pretty much what sold me.).

ANYHOW, HERE WE GO!

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS - MAKE LEMONADE! THE MAPLE SYRUP-EY CAYENNE PEPPER KIND!